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Whither the wind goes, there go I?
Feb. 19th, 2008 10:57 pmYay! Cordy thing system now providing limited internet. I do not understand anymore how people can live all the time with their internet in only one place, even though I did that for years. Technology, it sneaks into our lives.
Today I got tremendous and exciting news, although it's still in the tentative probable stages at present. Suffice it to say that it involves travel, a lot thereof, and in the near future.
And it is very squee making.
As well as that, though, I'm at this weird cross-roads in my life at the moment, making all kinds of decisions that could have huge impacts on my life. I want advice, and feedback, and all that stuff, but it's all really big and complicated and I'm not sure who or what to go to.
And the truth, really, is that probably no-one can actually help me with this, because these are my decisions, and I have to make them. I need to choose what my priorities are, and which opportunities that are presenting themselves to me are the right ones to take up.
I'm not good at this. I'm good at making instant quick decisions - taking what is offered and going for it. It's a family trait, I suspect - at least it seems to be the way in which I was brought up. And the thing is, the reason I'm good at quick decisions is actually because I'm bad at considered ones - it's easy if you just grab and run, because thinking about things, and considering outcomes, just makes it complicated and difficult.
I also tend towards picking the most exciting option, because I like exciting and interesting above staid and boring. Or I used to, anyway, and it's my default choice, even if sometimes nowadays staid and boring sounds a little safer.
Every choice leaves a path untaken, and has it's own costs. Life was easier when I didn't think about them, didn't care about them.
I'm standing at a giant metaphorical crossroad, and I do not know which road to take, which one will leave the least regrets, the least resentment, the least cost.
But mostly I can't tell if I should be reaching for the newer, more mature, more considered me, or digging up the wilder, freer, more adventurous and far braver younger me.
They'd choose opposite paths, and if I was sure which one was right, I'd know which path was right.
I think.
It's a big and complicated and confusing process, you see.....
Today I got tremendous and exciting news, although it's still in the tentative probable stages at present. Suffice it to say that it involves travel, a lot thereof, and in the near future.
And it is very squee making.
As well as that, though, I'm at this weird cross-roads in my life at the moment, making all kinds of decisions that could have huge impacts on my life. I want advice, and feedback, and all that stuff, but it's all really big and complicated and I'm not sure who or what to go to.
And the truth, really, is that probably no-one can actually help me with this, because these are my decisions, and I have to make them. I need to choose what my priorities are, and which opportunities that are presenting themselves to me are the right ones to take up.
I'm not good at this. I'm good at making instant quick decisions - taking what is offered and going for it. It's a family trait, I suspect - at least it seems to be the way in which I was brought up. And the thing is, the reason I'm good at quick decisions is actually because I'm bad at considered ones - it's easy if you just grab and run, because thinking about things, and considering outcomes, just makes it complicated and difficult.
I also tend towards picking the most exciting option, because I like exciting and interesting above staid and boring. Or I used to, anyway, and it's my default choice, even if sometimes nowadays staid and boring sounds a little safer.
Every choice leaves a path untaken, and has it's own costs. Life was easier when I didn't think about them, didn't care about them.
I'm standing at a giant metaphorical crossroad, and I do not know which road to take, which one will leave the least regrets, the least resentment, the least cost.
But mostly I can't tell if I should be reaching for the newer, more mature, more considered me, or digging up the wilder, freer, more adventurous and far braver younger me.
They'd choose opposite paths, and if I was sure which one was right, I'd know which path was right.
I think.
It's a big and complicated and confusing process, you see.....
