cataragon: (Default)
[personal profile] cataragon
I'm still okay.
I think I've said it a hundred times in the last few days. Usually as the first thing out of my mouth as I answer the phone after yet another significant aftershock.

"I'm okay. We're fine. Don't worry."

And we are, mostly. Stuff okay, house okay, people okay.

Some people only have one of the three. They seem to still be saying they're okay, on television, via email, on Facebook, all over the place.

Don't worry. We're okay.

I'm not entirely certain it's completely true though. Signs point to a kind of trauma exhaustion seeping in. The aftershocks are getting to people - when they happen, while you're waiting for them to happen, while you're trying to sleep.
The last one is kind of important. A lot of people aren't sleeping properly, either because they're waiting for the next one, or because the endless stream of them, even the little ones, partly or fully wake them up.
We're over 280 of them, now, with over 150 felt. In five days, that's a LOT of earthquakes, and even the "little" ones aren't much fun.

And the reality of the whole thing, too. That it isn't over, that it won't be entirely over for a long time.
More and more buildings are scheduled for destruction. More and more standing homes are revealing their nasty, broken underbellies. More damage is being done with every aftershock.
Rumours fly wild, some of them true, some of them complete nonsense.
We're a city trying hard to just get back to normal, but we're a city on edge.

Yesterday was better. Less aftershocks, more normality returning. Today's vicious aftershock, just before 8am, made today less good. It was only 5.1 (*only* 5.1 is totally not a sentence I ever would have used before this week), but it was super shallow - 6km down, and centred much much closer to Christchurch than they have been.
It damaged more stuff, freaked people out, and left a lot of people on edge for the rest of the day.

Not everyone, obviously, and how people are reacting/dealing with things is different.

Mostly, though, I think we're all tired.
Tired of not sleeping properly
Tired of worrying
Tired of seeing news reporters in front of that one building on the corner of Manchester and Worcester (that will be ending now, they demolished it tonight)
Tired of working to fix things, literally and figuratively, with the demoralising effects of the aftershocks returning to break them again.
Tired of watching things fall apart.
Tired of aftershocks, full stop.

Just tired of the whole damn thing.

But we're okay.

For given values of okay.

(If you would like to help, anyone, donate money to the Red Cross or something - donated goods are like an albatross, money helps efficiently on the ground, where it's needed most. Unless you know someone with a specific, expressed need, just give money. Or best wishes.)

Date: 2010-09-08 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Take care of yourself.

Date: 2010-09-08 07:48 pm (UTC)
jexia: (Default)
From: [personal profile] jexia

You're welcome up here if you want to get out.

Date: 2010-09-08 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hugs and I'm sorry you are going through this...I'm not even sure what its like to live that way. We're thinking of everyone in Christchurch right now. Keeping up the good thoughts.


cataragon: (Default)

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