Apr. 19th, 2010

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Tonight I spontaneously made a fruit sponge dessert, and felt like myself for nearly a whole hour.

Plans keep shifting and changing around me. Cleveland, not Pittsburgh, is the latest suggestion. We will see.

Lizbet came out to see us on Sunday, which was really wonderful. I feel cut off and adrift, socially, and it really meant a lot that she drove all the way out here. And we just hung out, talking, listening to music, not doing anything, or on any schedule.
I really miss that - we used to do it all the time, at our house, just hanging out with friends. And there'd be food, sometimes, and music sometimes, and television sometimes, and it was lovely.
Now when we see people it's never like that. It's regimented and organised and in restaurants and cafes and public spaces. There's always a time limit, and it isn't nearly so relaxing.

So I miss that. I miss my kitchen, and I miss the people coming in and out, and I miss throwing party parties and dinner parties and brunch parties and tea parties and just because parties. I miss having people to cook for who appreciated it and I miss having my own space to relax in and share with other people. I miss seeing my husband for more than four hours a day tops. I miss a lot of things.

But tonight I made fruit sponge dessert.


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