Feb. 17th, 2010

cataragon: (Default)
It appears we have a timeframe. I wouldn't go so far as to call it definate, yet, but to be honest, I suspect I'll remain somewhat cautious until we get on a plane (okay, maybe when we have booked tickets).
Late March, early April. Somewhat conveniently (okay, I planned this part) just after we finish house-sitting. It all looks to be coming together well, which makes me deeply suspicious. It's not paranoia if things often do go terribly wrong, right?

Dan decided I was stressing too much (I was) and put me on enforced doing very little except relaxing for a couple of days. Partly this is because my doctor has a theory that my terrible horrible very bad no good pain is stress-related (she hasn't found any other reason for it yet). It makes me feel a bit like a jolly big idiot, because seriously? Stress joint pain? But apparently it's not unheard of - tension in soft tissue leading to joint pain blah blah. And partly it's because I am often next to useless when very stressed out, plus stressing him out and making the whole process horrific.

I kind of hate it, even though I know it's good for me. Which it is. And I have to give myself some leeway - like it or not, I have mental health issues not of my making, and although I have learnt good coping skills for every day life, large amounts of stress overwhelm them a bit, and that's normal, and okay. Kind of shitty, but okay.


Anyway, I'm quite a lot better stresswise than I have been for some time, which is good, and is making all of this seem a bit more like a Yay! Adventure! and less like Argh! Stress!
I am also in less pain than I have been in some time, but I can't tell if that's because I'm less stressed, or because my idea of a relaxing time involves a fair bit of lolling about, and very little in the way of physical activity.

And yes, I'm trying to write more. My new new laptop and it's giant pretty screen and lovely keyboard are helping, but we'll see how we go. I've had this journal now for nearly seven years, and I would like to keep using it. Especially in the coming months, when I may have all sorts of interesting experiences to record in it.

Now is bedtime. Or quite a lot past bedtime, depending on your point of view.

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cataragon

September 2010

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